Duck, or Decoy?

There is nothing that brings out the little boy in me like a good, old-fashioned snowball fight. I just can't resist getting involved.

Fortunately for me, my children (boys and girls) have obliged me and joined in many a "fight", to the delight of all of us.

On rare occasions we have even managed to involve their mother, but usually only for brief moments, when she pulls a sudden and unexpected sneak attack, then retreats to the safety of our home to "make cocoa".

Our battles usually begin as an "every man for himself" shootout, then fall into natural teams trying to drive the enemy army from the land, but inevitably turn into "everybody against Dad". It's at this point I have to show what I'm made of, and take my licks. Because I cannot win. Not any more.

It used to be, even when there were greater numbers of them at home, they were small, had poor aim and limited range. Now, however, they are big (they will all eventually be taller than I), strong boys with deadly skills. Even the littlest one throws bullets. No, I will be crying for mercy in a short time, and they will love it.

My one triumph, however, is my signature move - the decoy. After all these years, it still works. As a matter of fact, I used it successfully again today. The concept is simple, but very effective. After a time of slinging snowballs one at a time, you hurriedly make two, without being seen. Then, after choosing your victim, lob one at him (or her).

(Okay, while you are picturing that snowball, suspended in mid-air, let me explain something. In our family it is a moral victory to catch a snowball thrown at you, and blast your enemy with his own artillery.)

Now, back to the arcing projectile, which your target will undoubtedly attempt to catch: Part two of the scheme is to drill your opponent with your second snowball while his eyes are diverted to the first. Surprise!

I think the thing I love the most about the decoy is that I learned it from my Dad. Growing up in Idaho and Utah, I saw the trick demonstrated countless times, with equal success.

Sometimes this ploy works even when it doesn't work. The most memorable decoy attempt in history is the time Charlotte tried it on Andrea. As prescribed, Charlotte lofted her first snowball high into the air, anticipating the raised eyes of her gullible quarry which would signal the time to strike with the "kill shot". But to Charlotte's dismay, Andrea was wise to her trick, ignored the decoy and waited for the second throw. What happened next has never before or since been duplicated in the annals of Ainsworth Family Snowtainment. Charlotte's first throw came down immaculately, scoring a direct hit on the top of Andrea's head! The effect was equally surprising, as all participants were knocked to the ground by the blow, in genuine RITSLOL convulsions.

Yes, the decoy has served me well over the years, claiming each one of my snow-throwing children as casualties, some several times. I have wondered, on occasion, if they were really falling for the trick, or were just letting me have my fun because they knew how much I enjoy it. Either way, I know they are now well enough versed in it that they will pass on this tradition to their own children, who I hope will pass it on to theirs.

Yep! There's nothing like a good snowball fight to make me feel young again. Uh oh! It's time to take my licks! Incoming!